You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
