Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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