I didn't shave. On purpose
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
