I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
