I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
