Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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