I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
