either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
