The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
