Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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