The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was like eating out sand paper
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
