I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
