This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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