I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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