youre lurking in front of me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
