Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
