just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
