Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
