last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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