Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
