I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
