Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
do nipples grow back?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
