thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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