next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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