we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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