May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
