I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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