1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My cat gives me a boner
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
