I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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