Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
