I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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