i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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