I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
