Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
