you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
