dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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