she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
