everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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