I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
