Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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