If i come over, it means nothing
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
