I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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