If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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