Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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