like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
