my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
