oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
