I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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