Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
