Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
