im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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