We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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