She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
