i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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