i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
