Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
