but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
