i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
